Though he has millions of loyal readers, his button-pushing blog is so hated by Hollywood that even Fergie wants to knock him off his “Pedestal.” But with his new VH1 celebreality series, What Perez Sez — plus a stint on MTV’s Celebrity Rap Superstar — could the oft-sued Perez Hilton (né Mario Lavandeira) really become a gay role model? The 29-year-old opened up to us about his inspirational outness, those “cocksuckers” on The View and how Jessica Simpson is helping whip him into shape.
By Brandon Voss
HX: Out of all the gay bloggers out there, why are you the one getting his own show?
Perez Hilton: First of all, I have more traffic than all of the other blogs combined — not to toot my own horn. Humility isn’t one of my strong virtues. I’m a shameless, self-promoting whore, but I’m honest about that, so in that way, I have integrity — not much, but a little bit. That traffic speaks to the suits at the TV networks: Gosh, this guy’s getting seven million readers a day? We gotta tap into that! It’s smart of them to utilize me to their advantage.
Did any celebs refuse to be on What Perez Sez?
Of course! Kelly Clarkson said no, Avril Lavigne said no. I wanted people that I had beef with on there. I thought that would’ve been great television, but they weren’t willing to go there.
Was your grilling on The View as uncomfortable as it looked at home?
Yeah, it was kind of like having sex for the first time with someone. You have really high expectations, but once you’ve gotten into it, you realize that you’re not having that much fun, and, Oh, my God, this person doesn’t know how to give me head. Then you realize that even though he’s not the best cocksucker, it’s somewhat enjoyable. That’s what I was thinking to myself: Well, it could be worse. At least I’m reaching out to a new audience. But it was a little frustrating and shocking because they pre-interviewed me and never mentioned talking to me about the children of celebrities.
Was your meeting with Posh on her Coming to America special planned?
Oh, it was totally planned. I had a meeting with her manager to talk shop, and while I was there I took the opportunity to say, “By the way, I hear Victoria’s doing a TV show. You should put me on it.” And then he did! Don’t sit around waiting for anyone to do shit for you. Make it happen yourself. She’s really fun and nice, but she had awful skin. She’s probably rotting from the inside because she doesn’t eat.
High-profile TV appearances don’t go to your head?
No, because there are still places that I’m banned from. I’m not allowed at the Chateau Marmont, I can’t go to fuckin’ Hyde, and I don’t care! What makes me happiest is just staying at home working. I feel really lucky in that I’m living my American Dream. Nobody tells me what I can or cannot do.
Did you ever consider toning down your gayness for TV and Red State tastes?
I don’t think it’s possible. I don’t know how to say this without sounding really egotistical, but I would’ve loved to have had someone like me around when I was young. Like, Oh my gosh, if this dude is able to do all these really cool things, still be gay and not be the best looking or thinnest, then I could do it, too. And it’s great now that there are more people are coming out of the closet because, wow, maybe Wentworth Miller really will come out! And that would be awesome, because he’s definitely more in the leading man category than, say, T.R. Knight.
So Wentworth’s who you’re hellbent on outing these days?
Well, I’m not hellbent on it, but I look at the website like I’m talking to my friends. Although with friends I’ll engage in more speculation and conjecture, but on the website, if I’m reporting something as true, then I’m 100 percent confident that it is. In June, when I first reported that he was dating Luke MacFarlane, I was 100 percent sure. And he was, he is, and now there are pictures of them together two months later.
Why does your pal Mika seem immune to your outing?
Unfortunately, you can’t go back to my really old posts, because I had legal drama bullshit and had to go to a new server, but the first few times I talked about Mika, he was filed under the “Gay Gay Gay” category and I said that he was gay. But I don’t have to repeat it every time I talk about him!
Which mess has the edge on Celebrity Apprentice: Lindsay, Britney or Paris?
None of those girls are going to be in it, but I think Lindsay would have the edge. She’s the smartest. Oh, I was so bummed because we’d been e-mailing each other while she was still in Promises, I was trying to encourage her to do better, and she agreed to be on my VH1 show. And the next thing you know, bitch fuckin’ gets arrested, so that’s not happening now.
Tell me about your bold fashion style.
I was raised in a very Catholic, conservative Cuban household, but I don’t necessarily believe in the God I was brought up to believe in. I do, however, believe in the power of color. I believe that there’s energy there. When my hair’s different colors, I feel differently and people treat me differently. People should be unafraid to explore, have fun and try color.
Remember when you went on that “Madonna” diet and got all Star Jones skinny?
I need to get that way again. I wasn’t going to talk about it, but I don’t give a fuck. I finally realized that enough is enough. When not even extra-large items of clothes are fitting me, it’s time to do something about it. So I’m getting my meals delivered. I’m such a chick — I was reading about Jessica Simpson’s diet plan in US Weekly and I ordered it. But I don’t want to mention it by name, unless I start getting it for free. [Laughs] Oh, whatever — so I’m doing this thing called the Five Factor Diet, and it’s really good, but I’ve only been doing it for a week and a half.
Have you cheated?
I’ve only cheated three times out of 18 meals. That’s not bad. And I hired a trainer. My goal is to be a manwhore in 2008. I should be getting a lot of sex, and I’m not.
On that note, I’ll let you get back to blogging.
Did I give you enough salacious soundbytes? I just want to give you all you need. I’m a giver. I’m a top, though I may look like a nelly bottom.
HX, September 2007; extended online version.