Happy hours — how else would hard-working homos make it through the day?
By Brandon Voss
History time, kids! During the Prohibition era, speakeasies held “happy hours,” a term that originated in the 1920s as slang for U.S. Navy on-ship performances, as a way to get folks buzzed before dinner at dry restaurants. The name stuck and now describes the period of time when bars offer discounts on alcoholic bevies to promote their off-peak hours, usually 4pm to 8pm. Some countries like Ireland have banned happy hour to minimize drunk driving and binge drinking; naturally, it continues to be one of gay New York’s favorite pastimes.
“Nothing beats a happy hour after a long day of professional realness to let your inner queen out,” sums up drag starlet Shania Rendezvous. Some go for billiards at Barracuda, Nowhere Bar, or Phoenix. Others pull up a stool to the piano bar at The Monster. Those who like to see and be seen take advantage of the windows at View Bar. Most cruise hot businessmen, but a few favor dirty dives overrun by trolls. “I’m all about a crowd that makes me the prettiest girl at the party,” says US Weekly’s Mike Gilbride. “Toothless and ruthless, honey!”
But even if they can’t agree on a favorite watering hole, many ‘mos crave a homey, familial atmosphere that one can’t find when the late-night thumpa-thumpa begins. During a recent visit to happy hour at The Urge, the bartender turned down the tunes so that we could all watch Anna Nicole coverage on CNN. Imagine that happening at Roxy!
“As cheesy as it sounds, happy hour here is like Cheers — where everybody knows your name,” says XES employee Frank Boccia, HX’s reigning Bartender of the Year. “People come in after a hard day and just want an open ear. I give that to them, and I always make my drinks strong. By the end of happy hour this fact is quite clear!”
Jeff Bond, a happy hour bartender at Barracuda, compares those precious hours to the time straights spend with their children. “Our dads used to kick back after work with a Scotch and soda while us kids crawled all over them,” he explains. “Now, we get to kick back with a dirty Ketel One martini while crawling all over each other. I say we got the better deal.”
“I love happy hour because you can go directly from work, get sloppy, and still get home by like 10 or 11pm,” says happy hour aficionado Jeff Chiola, who kicks back with a Ketel One cosmo on the rocks, thank you. Jeff has a soft spot for a 2-for-1 deal but admits it’s hot bartenders that really help smooth out the edge.
Like Jeff, many queens I interviewed consider themselves fair-weather happy hour fans, only skipping the gym after a particularly stressful day; however, some take the tradition very seriously. “My friends and I do a weekly ‘Frigay’ happy hour,” says TV producer Tarik Flannagan. “We always start at Posh — you can’t beat their $3 Stellas!” From there, he and his crew typically hit the other Hell’s Kitchen happy hours at Bamboo 52, Vlada, Barrage, and therapy, which is especially popular on Fridays.
“At the beginning of the night we never really know how late we’re going to end up staying out,” continues Tarik as he sucks down a half-priced cocktail at The Ritz. “Sometimes we’re home by 11pm, other times we’re out until 3am. The beauty of happy hour is that you can start out the night early and cheaply — but that can also be the curse!”
Indeed, there can be a darker side to the evening standard. “It’s a slippery slope for me,” says Josh Rosenzweig, vice president of marketing and publicity for here! TV. “I start off with the best intentions of having a drink or two and then find myself hog-tied in Jersey at 6am.” Josh’s happy hour haunts have changed with every job according to the preferences of his fellow office homos: ragers at Dick’s Bar and The Hangar have been replaced with post-work party time at Gym. “It’s fun and friendly,” Josh explains, “and I love the 2-for-1 poker chips you get!”
Real estate maven Ted Shields also falls prey to Josh’s predicament, especially at Splash. “It’s sneaky how they gradually turn the music louder and louder without you knowing it as the night goes on,” says Ted, who’s been known to make a full dinner out of complimentary pretzels. “It’s like they suck you in! And the drinks are way strong, so everyone walks out of there — if they manage to break free — totally shit-faced.”
But at the end of the day, who can resist a drink special and a mouthful of salty nuts?
SOAKING IT UP: The kitchens at Vlada, therapy, and Bamboo 52 are all open during happy hour; The Monster cooks up hors d’oeuvres; and The Ritz even offers a complimentary gourmet buffet! But happy hour purists are usually content with complimentary salty snacks. Sure, some prissies wouldn’t be caught dead eating out of a communal bowl — “You know some fisting fool just had his filthy hand in there,” says Jeff Chiola — but once you’re buzzed, it can be hard to resist. The Prime Time snack mix at XES rated highest among the ‘mos we polled. “I’ve never even tried it,” says bartender Frank Boccia. “I know I’ll get addicted, so I just avoid it altogether.”
HX, March 2007.