Cho Time!: Margaret Cho twirls her pasties like Madonna in her off-Broadway girlie show.
By Brandon Voss
Our all-American girl’s always been raw and uncensored in stand-up shows and concert films like I’m the One That I Want, Notorious C.H.O., and Assassin, but starting September 26 for four weeks at the Zipper Factory, Margaret Cho bares all! The Sensuous Woman, a vaudevillian evening of comedy, music, and dance celebrating the female body, also shows off a variety of talents such as Dirty Martini, Liam “Kelly” Sullivan, and Cho’s personal belly dance instructor, Princess Farhana. While workshopping the racy show in L.A. and Chicago, the recent True Colors tour hostess — next seen on the big screen as a “dykey” cop in One Missed Call — called us to weigh in on her trans obsession, Barbara Walters phobia, and why she’s got Britney’s back.
HX: Are you looking forward to coming back to New York? You know we have the best gays.
Margaret Cho: [Laughs] Yeah, I just love it. It’s so much fun. It’s going to be great because there’s so much to talk about — the whole Larry Craig thing, the whole Britney thing. So I’m excited to get there.
Lance Bass is here starring in Hairspray, so you can’t go to a gay bar without bumping into him. Will we see you out while you’re in town? Because you know all the queens will be texting each other: “Cho alert!”
Good, I hope so! I should be out. I actually met Lance a long time ago at Kathy Griffin’s house before he came out, and I knew that he was gay, because you do not go to Kathy Griffin’s house if you are a straight man.
Back to Britney, how do you feel about the criticism of her weight on the VMAs?
I thought she looked hot. I can’t stop thinking about [the YouTube video of] Chris Crocker — “Leave Britney alone!” — screaming and crying. I’ve seen it so many times. I just want to scream that because I thought she looked beautiful. I mean, how skinny do we have to be? But it’s not about the body, i't’s about being high. You can eat whatever you want, just don’t be that fucked up on TV!
How much flesh is on display in The Sensuous Woman?
A lot. I get totally naked, which is really scary for people, but really fun. Well, there are pasties for sure — I can’t really explain it without giving it away, so you’ll just have to see. I was inspired by all the years of going to Madonna concerts from Blonde Ambition on, seeing all of the dancers and big productions. I thought, Well, I want to do that! — but on my budget, of course. So this is my version of The Girlie Show in a small theater. We actually designed the set with the “Open Your Heart” video in mind.
You befriended trans singer Lucas Silveira from The Cliks on True Colors and have trans comedian Ian Harvie in your show. Are you some sort of tranny chaser?
I’m not a tranny chaser, I’m a tranny catcher! I love the whole transgendered movement becoming visible, so I want to be supportive of that. I have a lot of female-to-male transgendered friends, so that’s my community.
What was the gayest thing you witnessed on True Colors?
Oh, it was so gay! I think the gayest thing was this guy in the audience, right in the middle up front, wearing gold elbow-length gloves, gold boots, and gold shorts — he was just gold. He was dancing like crazy with these long limbs in the middle of the day. In Denver.
With that roster of queens and divas in close quarters backstage, there must’ve been drama.
There was actually no drama, mostly because we were all super exhausted after drinking and partying like crazy. It was wild. We’d get fucked up, do the show, then get more fucked up and go to the next city.
In June when you co-hosted The View, was there ever a chance of you becoming a permanent host?
I don’t think so, because I was too intimidated and freaked out by Barbara Walters. They brought me into the makeup room, and when you see her without any makeup and they start to put in on, it was like they were making a Mr. Potato Head. They would put her eyes in and then she would look at you, and then they’d put the nose on and then her mouth. It was scary. I was so terrified of her, so I couldn’t really get it together to be good on that show.
HX, September 2007.
Stealing the Cho: Margaret showcases her gay Glam Squad on The Cho Show.
After the debacle that was her short-lived 1994 sitcom All American Girl (rent her smash stand-up concert special I’m the One That I Want for the details), bisexual comedienne Margaret Cho returns to TV with The Cho Show, a pseudo-reality series on VH1. Currently touring with her stand-up show Beautiful, Cho gives us the goods on her prominently featured gay Glam Squad.
HX: Are you a big reality TV fan?
Margaret Cho: I love it, but it’s fake. Of course it’s not real. I don’t think reality even exists. Ours is basically a sitcom starring real people. It’s along the lines of a Christopher Guest film, where they script the situations but not the dialogue.
Was there one show that you modeled yours after?
I really love Kathy Griffin’s show, and our stand-up comedy is similar as well, so it seemed like the right kind of format. But ours is probably even more scripted than hers because there are more actors.
I love your Glam Squad of gay stylists: John Stapleton on makeup, John Blaine on hair, and Charlie Altuna on wardrobe. Does it really take a gay village?
It does take a gay village. I’m super low maintenance — like camouflage capris and crocs. My life is gross. But in showbiz you have to put on makeup and look nice, so I do need help.
Have they all slept together?
No, and they don’t want to! I think that’s the last thing any of them want to do.
Is each vying to be your #1 gay?
Yeah, they probably are, but they’re all very special to me in their own way.
If a random queen wanted to be your BFF, what would it take?
You don’t really need that much. Just have drugs. [Laughs]
Do you prefer tops or bottoms?
I’m real flexible.
Which upcoming episodes are your gay fans going to go nuts for?
There’s one where I decide to get anal bleaching. It’s much simpler than you think it’s going to be. And we also have our own beauty contest — a Cho Universe Pageant. And I took all the gays camping and made them go without electricity, cell phones, Blackberries and laptops for a couple days, so that’s great. It was not cute.
Watching the show, did you learn anything about yourself?
I realized that I’m a lot thinner than I thought I was. And I realized that a lot of times I can dish it out, but I can’t take it. Like, after all the dirty jokes I tell, my dad tells me a really dirty joke on the show and I totally flip out and get really Christian on him.
Kathy’s show made stars out of her parents. Are yours ready for the added attention?
I think so. They’re divas to begin with.
Is there any celebrity that you wish had their own show so you could get a peek inside their life?
I don’t know who would be as fun and interesting as me. [Laughs]
HX, August 2008; extended online version.