Get to know legendary funny lady Sandra Bernhard, who will tell it like it is, honey, at Joe’s Pub for her annual holiday solo show.
By Brandon Voss
1. What turns you on, creatively or otherwise?
Sandra Bernhard: When I wake up in the middle of the night, right out of a dream, and I remember a melody or a funny line that i put into a show that actually works.
2. What’s a good tip for someone who wants to be you for Halloween?
Play it down. Do Sandy in a flannel shirt, some beat-up jeans, and flip flops.
3. Which celebrity’s hair do you covet most?
Catherine Deneuve.
4. What would your death-row last meal be?
Herring in sour cream.
5. What’s your juiciest vice or guiltiest pleasure?
Staying up late and watching boxing.
6. What extravagant purchase should probably make you feel guiltier?
I usually borrow extravagant items and return them the same night.
7. When’s the last time you wanted to slap someone?
When the lady cut me off at the corner and stole my taxi.
8. What most likely made that stain on your outfit?
Honey, you know better than that. I never create stains. Ever. I just remove them from other peoples clothing.
9. Describe your favorite undergarment.
Jockey for Women panties.
10. What’s a lie you’ve told more than once?
That I was married in my 20s.
BONUS: Where do you see yourself in five minutes?
On the couch taking a nap with my dog George.
DLNQNT, December 2012.