CLUBLAND CONFIDENTIAL: Hey, dancing queens! Need help navigating Gotham’s late-night labyrinth? We got the skinny straight from the party promoters themselves, so let us plan your fall nightlife experience. Now chug a Red Bull and hit the dance floor!
GROW FOR ME
This Halloween, Alegria at Crobar will feed you all night long
How does one top the high-energy, construction-themed circuitry of Alegria at Crobar earlier this month? By making it bigger, hotter, and wilder, of course! “I have just one party left in ’05 — Alegria: Halloween 2,” says promoter Rick Sena, “and the theme is Little Shop of Horrors.” Does that mean we’ll “suddenly see more” shirtless studs than usual? (Oh, shut up, you know we’re funny.) With Abel bleeding himself dry in the DJ booth, this event will also be the official release party for Alegria Musica, the second Alegria CD released by Tommy Boy Records, in stores October 11. So lift up your head and take off your mascara, boys — we’ll see you somewhere that’s green and gorgeous!
Alegria: Halloween 2, 8pm–8am, Sun, Oct 30, Crobar, $50, alegriaevents.com.
AND ON THE SEVENTH DAY
Avalon Sundays leave no more time for rest
Get thee to church, heathens, because Avalon Sundays are back with a whole new crew, filling the joint with more of the scandalous shenanigans it’s notorious for. “It’s a great, infamous place and we’re just going to shake things up again,” says promoter Marc Berkley. “We’re setting up residencies with very famous, Grammy-winning DJs, and we’re going for the freaks, drag queens, Chelsea boys, college kids — it’s going to be the Benetton of parties!” Berkley — with Avalon folk such as FLXX — has big plans for the cavernous old space, promising plenty of live performances and elaborately executed theme events: “It’s not just going to be perfunctory, where you walk in and wouldn’t know one night from the other. I hate that.” Alas, our prayers have been answered!
Avalon Sundays, 10pm, 660 Sixth Av (20th St), $10–$15 after midnight, gaycollegeparty.com.
GOING DOWN…
Splash brings the spunk back to Chelsea
As legendary as its showering go-go boys are, Splash has never been known for the seedier side of New York nightlife. But that’s all a-changin’, because Splash now offers three weekly nights that are all about dirty deeds done cheap. Warning: You may leave with a wet spot in your shorts.
• Known for some of the E-Vill’s most scandalous parties, promoters Daniel Nardicio and Jonny McGovern now run Spunk’d Wednesdays. “It’s the frattiest fake frat boy party in town,” says McGovern. “Just like spring break, but where all the guys want to do it with you.” 10pm, $5, 18+.
• On Saturday nights, Splash picks up the gauntlet thrown down by the sad demise of The Gaiety with the Men on Men show, hosted by Jesse Volt. A dozen built studs grind on the stage and even give lucky punters a groin-stirring lap dance. Later, Aaron Tanner keeps it up and swollen with his Men’s Room party. And general manager Greg Jones tells us that Craig Spencer, once a party lord at The Lure, will join the Saturday-night team with a new fetish party. 8pm, cover varies.
• On occasional Sunday nights, Dirty Daniel is back at Splash with the party that was actually thrown out of two other venues for being too racy even for the East Village — the Panty Revolution. Come find out why at this weekend’s early-evening fleshfest. 7pm Sun, Sep 25, cover varies.
Splash, 50 W 17th St, splashbar.com, cover varies.
MAKE THE SWITCH
Get your freak on Fridays at Krash
Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis have yet to make appearances, but Freaky Fridays at Krash keep the multi-culti crowds coming to the gorgeous Chelsea club every week with bumpin’ house on the main floor and booty-shakin’ hip-hop and Latin grooves downstairs. This coming season, promoter JR tells us that “wizard with the mix” DJ Glenn Frisca will welcome special guest DJs such as SuperDave, Mike Cruz, and more, and that the Friday freaks will still get their fill of $5 kamikazes and rum and cokes till 11:30pm.
Freaky Fridays at Krash, 10pm–6am, 16 W 22nd St, free before midnight, $8 with ad after, krashnyc.com.
SLEEPLESS
Sweet dreams are made of Roxy Saturdays starring Junior and more
Along with hosting super-DJs Tony Moran, Manny Lehman, and Paolo in the near future, John Blair Productions welcomes Junior Vasquez as a new resident of Roxy Saturdays. “I’m calling my party Bedtime Story,” Vasquez says of his latest epic event premiering September 24. “It will be a whimsical romp, celebrating my personal favorite time of the day — the seconds before entering dreamland.” With a new Phazon soundsystem, Vasquez will unveil his fresh Roxy Anthem remixes of Britney Spears’ “Touch of My Hand,” Destiny’s Child’s “Stand Up for Love,” and Barbara Streisand’s “Night of My Life,” along with his own flock of sexy go-go boys.
Roxy Saturdays, 11pm–8am, Roxy, 515 W 18th St, $20, jblair.com.
THE DEVIL YOU KNOW
The Monster scares up some fun every night of the week
In addition to housing wildly popular shows such as Laritza DuMont’s Sabor Latino Mondays, Jesse Volt’s Hi-Voltage Wednesdays, and the Finlandia-sponsored Crowd Pleaser talent show on the first Wednesday of every month, this West Village institution still boasts one of most happening dance floors in town (DJ Tony Cruz holds court from Saturday to Monday, and DJ Warren Gluck takes over the turntables from Tuesday to Friday). Recent improvements include a nifty new stage, theater-style lighting, and a beautiful aquarium in the back lounge, but promotions gal Siobhan Ogleve sums up the club’s main draw: “At Monster, you always know what you’re getting — a friendly, warm environment with ridiculously strong drinks.”
The Monster, 80 Grove St (Sheridan Sq), free, manhattan-monster.com.
¡AY PAPI!
Escuelita cashes in on its long, loco success
For more than 30 years, queer Hispanics, African-Americans, and their peeps have wiggled at Escuelita to salsa, merengue, hip-hop, house, and more. Escuelita now presents the gogolicious Thursday-night all-male Boyz 2 Men party, the very girl-friendly Freedom Fridays, and the supersweet Azucar Saturdays, which manager BigBen calls “a night of sofirito and sazon, with lots of sabor!” (We imagine that’s bueno!) And drag darling Harmonica Sunbeam — Beyoncé’s fave! — continues hosting Sunbeam Sundays. BigBen promises more theme nights such as the bi-monthly Casino Weekend (this weekend!), which features slot machines and scratch-off tickets that might win you a trip to Miami!
Escuelita, 301 W 39th St, times and cover vary, 18+, enyclub.com.
FRIENDS OF DOROTHY
There’s no place like The Rambles at Home for fierceness and flesh
Aside from debuting his porny new Wednesday-night Spunk’d event at Splash, Jonny McGovern has relocated his long-running Rambles party with DJ Jonjon Battles from The Park to its luxe new home at Home, which is hospitable indeed thanks to two dance floors, smoking patios, and a newly opened Guesthouse room. “We have co-hostess Linda James every week killing it,” McGovern says, “along with the legendary Flawless Sabrina from the ’60s cult classic The Queen. In fact, everything we’re doing now is based on what she starred in. We’re even staging a dance floor battle between her and Sophia Lamar!” Other upcoming performances will include “This Is New York City (Bitch),” a transtastic rap song written by McGovern, James, and Nita. Although some things have changed, painfully sexy go-go boys — including favorites Jay, Dustyn, and Owen — still rule the roost.
The Rambles at Home, 532 W 27th St, 10pm, free, open bar till 11pm.
MORNING AFTER THRILL
Victor Calderone continues to Evolve at Crobar
If you plan to hang with the big boys at Crobar’s monthly Evolve party, we strongly suggest a disco nap — DJ/producer Victor Calderone’s monthly after-hours event doesn’t even begin until 5am. “It’s a sexy crowd,” says Calderone of his hunky, shirtless disciples, though that just might be the understatement of the year. “But I’m more focused on the music at Evolve. We have a good mix of people who are there for the music.” Evolve will also continue featuring a rotating roster of respected and exciting opening DJs. And because Evolve is, as Calderone puts it, “where [his] career and sound evolved,” expect an original compilation disc tied in with the Evolve brand name to drop soon.
Evolve at Crobar, 5am–5pm, Sat, Oct 15, 530 W 28th, $20, crobar.com.
GO POSTAL
Please forward all males to Area 10018
In what seems to be part of a northern migration trend, Michael Formika and DJ Adam’s eclectic, party-like-a-rockstar Friday-night funfest changed clubs — and codes — over the summer. “It turned out to be an amazing benefit,” says Adam. “People come from all over the city now.” The new space keeps calves lookin’ cuter with five themed floors, including a rooftop, each hosted by a slew of downtown freaks and celebutantes. And expect more guest performers (such as Lady Miss Kier in October) trying to top Jody Watley’s recent appearance. “It’s the first party I’ve ever done where I don’t hear a bunch of complaints,” says Adam, “because Area 10018 is what nightlife in New York used to be about.”
Area 10018, 10pm, Fri, Shelter, 20 W 39th St, $10, open bar till midnight, tripwithus.com.
WHERE THE BOIS ARE
Don’t hate Gay College Party because it’s young and beautiful
“Gay College Party is one of the world’s largest and longest running 18+ parties,” says Tony Gambino, who, along with fellow co-founder Alan Picus, is currently welcoming a cute new batch of freshmen from local schools such as NYU, Columbia, and FIT to the youthful weekend study breaks. On Saturdays, GCP’s flagship night at Heaven features three unique dance floors with pop-minded DJs such as Steve Sidewalk, Vito Fun, and Martin Bubbles from the United Kingdom. But Gay College Party is now a force to be reckoned with at Avalon on Sundays as well, thanks to resident DJ Escape and DJs Randy Bettis, Larry Tee, James Andersen, and others making the rounds. “We’re also bringing in top drag queens and getting nightlife notables like Kenny Kenny and Cocoa Brown more involved,” Gambino says, “so Sundays at Avalon now see a whole mix of different groups — including celebrity misfits like Danny Pintauro and Graham Norton.”
Gay College Party, Sat, Heaven, 579 Sixth Av (16th St), $10 before midnight with student ID, GCP membership card, guestlist, flyer or ad; reduced after. Gay College Party, Sun, Avalon, free before midnight with membership card; $10 with membership card, $15 without after, gaycollegeparty.com.
SWEET!
Fresh Fruit at Cielo is always ripe for the pickin’
On certain Sundays (like September 25), Fantastic Five Benny Soto, Kevin Williams, Jessica O’Connor, and DJs Steve Travolta and Quentin Harris put the Vitamin C in Cielo with the juiciest new dance party in town. “Fresh Fruit is all about having fun,” says Travolta. “The vibe is relaxed and the crowd is obviously gay with a cool mix of straights in the fold.” Inspired by Harris’ studio work, as well as by producers such as Dennis Ferrer and David Morales, the evening’s musical direction is complemented by sweet squirts of quality European tech house and classic New York City house. “We serve up a platter of the best old-school, feel-good party with no pretense or velvet ropes,” Travolta promises. So expect deep grooves, twisted underground anthems, and cunty battle beats!
Fresh Fruit, 8pm–2am, Sun (periodic), Cielo, 18 Little W 12th St, $10, cieloclub.com.
HOLY @#$%!
Spirit Sundays find strength and support in numbers
Some say that too many cooks spoil the broth, but the spiciest parties often depend on many different promoters. “John Blair and I recently agreed that nothing can be done alone in this town,” shares party poobah Mark Nelson. “Rather then spin our wheels separately, we ride in the same car — especially on Sunday nights when he, Beto Sutter, JR of Krash, and I all join forces to keep the energy high and memorable for the Sunday nightcrawlers at Spirit with top-notch DJs such as Manny Lehman, SuperDave, Chad Jack, and Mike Cruz. Spirit Sundays will surprise everyone.” Blair also brags that the crowds, never less than 1,000 people each Sunday, are incredible. They got spirit, yes they do. We got spirit — how ’bout you?
Spirit Sundays, 10pm, Spirit, 530 W 27th St, $10, members free before midnight, jblair.com.
GET CAUGHT
The Web weaves a wicked one for all races
“We are the only gay Asian dance club in New York,” proclaims The Web owner Bobsie Colon, proudly, “and the only dance club that has go-go boys all night, every night, from 7pm to 2am.” Expect even more international and exotic talent grinding to the latest in vocal house and trance from resident DJ Mosley, along with plenty of pageantry, including Mr. Supermodel 2006 on Saturday, September 24. But you don’t have to have Far Eastern roots to enter a contest, drop trou on a bar or just spin a good time at The Web. “We’re not just Asian club,” explains Colon. “Our clients are only about 25 percent Asian.” But the rest, we imagine, probably like their rice steamed and sticky.
The Web, 40 E 58th St, 4pm–10pm no cover, $10 after, thewebnewyork.com.
DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
Legendary “door whore” Kenny Kenny’s hints on how to crash an exclusive affair
1. Don’t pretend you’re on the list. “I can always tell if someone is lying when his pupils dilate and he can’t look me in the eye. But a lot of people can’t look me in the eye — don’t ask me why!
2. Don’t feed her a line. “But Kenny, I know you, we’re good friends, honey!” If I’m not letting you in, we’re not that good of friends.”
3. Don’t get belligerent. “Name it and I’ve been called it, but the egg smacked right on the top of my head took the cake — no pun intended.”
4. Be sweet and cute. “But just remember that doors aren’t the same as they used to be. Now we’re often just fulfilling a club owner’s agenda, which is usually a little off to say the least!”
5. Be creative. “Once, a shabby guy I refused went home and came back in Royal Court drag. Michael Alig was 86ed from Limelight after the murder, so he climbed a tree on the side and snuck in a open top window! And a man wants to clean the toilets at the clubs I work at in order to gain admittance. Now that’s a first!
Kenny Kenny will soon host Synthetic Pleasure at Happy Valley, 27th St (near Fifth Av), with Sophia Lamar, Melissa Burns, Amanda Lepore, and DJ The MisShapes.
SEEN AND SLOSHED
HX nightlife photographer (and expert moocher) Jeff Eason’s tips on how to score a golden “free drink” ticket
1. If you don’t know anyone important, fake it like an orgasm.
2. A drag queen is usually a sure bet — they generally have a purse full of all kinds of goodies!
3. Flattery will get you everywhere: “Your performance was fierce!” or “Have you been working out?”
4. Surround yourself with hotties. Pumping the pretty boys full of free booze can make everyone’s dreams come true!
5. The oldest trick in the book is… well, to trick. Cheers!
FILL ‘ER UP!
Dream ideas for Eighth Avenue’s newest void
Big Cup is long gone, kids, but there’s no use crying over spilt mochaccinos. What will move into that prime but pricey location? We have a few suggestions.
A reading room — where vicious queens can read people freely.
An Issac Mizrahi-run mini-Target. That serves cocktails.
An all-male NYU dormitory — we love a challenge!
A 24/7 drop-in counseling center and tanning salon. That serves cocktails.
A moderately priced gay gourmet grocery: Fagastino’s!
A gym for our transgender sisters — Shenequinox! That serves cocktails.
HEY MR. DJ!
DJ Brenda Black’s five no-nos for getting your song request played
1. Don’t ask the DJ to hold your bag — they’re not coat check.
2. Never ask to look through a DJ’s music with your sticky fingers. Besides, a DJ’s not a human jukebox — you can’t stick a dollar in their slot.
3. Don’t compliment a DJ or make small-talk when all you really want to do is request a song. DJs always know when you’re lying.
4. Don’t waste the DJ’s time — know what you want before you walk up to the booth.
5. Don’t bug a DJ by sending friends over to request the same song. Not only will the DJ not play it, but they’ll also tell all the cute bartenders that you and your friends are losers.
HX, September 2005.