Get to know Britney-defending Internet sensation Chris Crocker, subject of the new HBO doc Me @ the Zoo — and now a porn star!
By Brandon Voss
1. What turns you on, creatively or otherwise?
Chris Crocker: Intelligence. A guy with a mind gets me before a guy with a body.
2. What’s a good tip for someone who wants to be you for Halloween?
Hmm. One year they actually put out a “crying Internet guy” wig and costume to mimic me. You could go that route. Or just go around naked with spiky-ish hair… but then you’d be every guy.
3. Which celebrity’s hair do you covet most?
Hmm… Not too much into celebs, but I think I’ve always loved the singer Robyn’s hair.
4. What would your death-row last meal be?
Oh, my God — pizza, of course! And a Blue Moon to wash it down.
5. What’s your juiciest vice or guiltiest pleasure?
I do love a drink… and porn. No guilt in any of my pleasures though. I love a good night to myself jerking off to bareback porn.
6. What extravagant purchase should probably make you feel guiltier?
Funny enough, I blow the most money at grocery stores. I’m a nut about going through each aisle and trying new things. Then I never end up eating or liking it all.
7. When’s the last time you wanted to slap someone?
Last night someone wished HIV upon me for doing porn. I’d say that’s the last time.
8. What most likely made that stain on your outfit?
Cum. Always.
9. Describe your favorite undergarment.
I always freeball. Always.
10. What’s a lie you’ve told more than once?
“Just kidding.”
BONUS: Where do you see yourself in five minutes?
Finishing up this yummy crab cake sandwich I just ordered! Bon appétit!
DLNQNT, October 2012.