Get to know kvetching scene-stealer Jackie Hoffman, who returns to Provincetown this summer in Seth Rudetsky’s star-studded Broadway at the Art House series.
By Brandon Voss
1. What turns you on, creatively or otherwise?
Jackie Hoffman: Writing on my feet, people who think fast, funny people… dark, sick people who don’t subscribe to the crap everybody else does… oh, and food.
2. What’s a good tip for someone who wants to be you for Halloween?
Make sure to be self-loathing.
3. Which celebrity’s hair do you covet most?
Rod Stewart.
4. What would your death-row last meal be?
A large portion of anything. It doesn’t even have to be good.
5. What’s your juiciest vice or guiltiest pleasure?
Real Housewives.
6. What extravagant purchase should probably make you feel guiltier?
I don’t understand this fucking question. Probably any item from a deli in New York cause it’s so overpriced.
7. When’s the last time you wanted to slap someone?
Every time I hear a child.
8. What most likely made that stain on your outfit?
I know you want me to say semen, but It’s always food.
9. Describe your favorite undergarment.
The elastic isn’t worn out.
10. What’s a lie you’ve told more than once?
“I couldn’t eat another thing.”
BONUS: Where do you see yourself in five minutes?
No more famous than I am now ‘cause I did an interview for DLNQNT.
DLNQNT, June 2012.